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Skill set of a new momma Part -2

With every day as your kid/s blossom, you and your skills also continue to grow.

Skill set of a new momma Part -2

  1. You shall not tire- Even if you are on your feet for 8 hours straight; you shall still attend to your babies’ every need before you can hit the bed.
  2. You shall have enviable enhanced physical strength levels- With a laptop bag, a diaper bag, a grocery bag & a school bag, you still have the strength to carry your crying toddler is she so desires 🙂 .
  3. You shall sleep uninterrupted only during night (if you get lucky) and with 1 eye open and for years to come.
  4. You shall be able to multi-task, eat, talk, run after one kid, and make the other one brush her teeth simultaneously. These variables will constantly change, but the talent of multi-tasking shall remain a constant in your life.
  5. All food shall taste the same- Everything you eat shall be eaten in a rush, already cold since you spent 45 minutes in feeding your toddler, and since you would have lost interest in it long back, it will all taste the same.
  6. You shall master the art of putting together an ensemble in under 5 minutes, and still manage to look wow 🙂 .
  7. You shall have only 10 minutes in the bathroom- Manage whatever you can in this time. See I asked you to learn to prioritise 🙂 .
  8. You shall know new feelings- Unwavering loyalty, fierce love, protectiveness, possessiveness, irrationality, irritability and they just keep adding over the years….
  9. You shall feel complete happiness like you have never known before 😀
  10. You shall find a deeper meaning to your bond with your spouse- Your husband becomes more than what he was before, he is now a, partner in your good-cop-bad-cop routine, the soundest shoulder to rest your weary head on, someone who will always squeeze out extra strength to change the bed sheets at 3 am in the morning when you child soils them, who will share the pride, joy & pains of parenthood with you every moment of the journey.

Here’s my older post in case you missed it 🙂 

 

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Advice I would have given myself in my first pregnancy

Yeah yeah, aren’t all first time moms given advice by anyone and everybody. In fact I feel that it is a tradition, which unfortunately I am a culprit of having given into. See, I have understood that as first time mom you may hate when people give you advice on everything- how to breastfeed, make the baby sleep, burp, bathe, change, when to start solids, weaning…blah blah. And try hard as you may, you can’t avoid it. So, you have to vent out this baggage you received, by becoming just one of what you didn’t want to, and dish out advice when you see a new first time mom 🙂 . Simple. And thus the tradition continues.

Advice I would have given myself in my first pregnancy

But, jokes apart, if I were to give some sensible advice to myself, this would be it-

1. Rest before delivering- you’ll never have ME time again for the next 5 yrs. It’s so true. Especially if you are planning to have more than one kid. Rest as much as you can before delivering. Just stay in bed & relax, enjoy, do everything which is not a chore or a task on your to-do list, by becoming a parent you’ve signed up for a lifetime of doing that already.

2. Rest after delivering- yup. That’s the natural progression. Get all the pampering, sleep in late, be lazy, get massages, stay in for the convalescing period, let others do the household work, you don’t have to bathe your new born from day one, you’ll have years to do it 🙂

3. Eat without a thought- you’re still nourishing another soul, and lactation is the only time, second to pregnancy, when you can eat as much as you can. You always have a legitimate excuse of an expanded waistline 🙂

4. Become BLIND to the household- everyone else is an adult or not-a-new mom. They can take care of themselves without you wanting to assist/manage everything.

5. Sleep when the baby sleeps- for once listen to what the older women (who are still on the advice giving trip), & don’t use this time to catch up on chores & tasks & bathing & organising. Sleep. Once the world knows you are fit to manage yourself & the baby, all help is withdrawn, and you have to actually manage everything. So savour this time.

6. Get massages done- Yes, the midwives knew what they were talking about. Go get pampered. Those daily massages get your tummy in & your spirits up :). It takes away the weariness from the birthing process, lack of sleep, and gives your body and mind the much needed relaxation.

It took me my second pregnancy to understand & appreciate the deeper meaning of all these sayings & advices, and since I was staunchly not willing to take any advice from others, I wish I could’ve written this post for myself earlier 🙂 .

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Weekend humour

Story of my life, for the next 2 years also I guess 🙂

Humour in an apron 9

My favourite words these days are- Tired, Sleepy, Very tired, Very sleepy, need a break, want to break (something), Me time, We time, where is the time, I feel older than my age, 3 years old are too smart for their age…. 🙂

 

 

 

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10 life lessons my 3.5 yr old taught me

They say there is no age for a teacher, and as I grow with my children, I realise it is so true. This tiny creature who has walked the earth for 1/10 my age, can teach me so many things….

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/adwriter/339057805/">adwriter</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: adwriter via photopin cc

Here are 10 life lessons my 3.5 yr old taught me-

1. Perseverance- If you stick at it, you shall have it.

Whether it is a toy/candy, or a task she is trying for the first time, I’ve seen my daughter continuously make efforts for it, to the point of my exhaustion. Toddler will NOT give up.

2. Best things in life are free- Yes, truly

Anyone who is a parent knows that kids can read when affection is genuine. What makes a child happy? Branded clothes, imported shoes, most expensive schools, child friendly & oh-so-carefully selected toys? Nope. A good sleep, splashing in the bath tub & making the entire bathroom wet to your chagrin, seeing their dad return from office, touching a dog’s wet nose, dropping their food all over the floor, a good burp or poop, pillow fight, horse riding on their dad’s back, making a house from sofa cushions (who cares if you have prohibited them from doing it), when their dad’s stubble tickles their chin, and soooo much more. And what does it cost. Only time & love. And what do WE amass from all our efforts, mostly materialistic things. But do they give us happiness? I’m not so sure now.

3. Short term memory is good- When you have had a fight.

My daughter never holds a grudge. With the next kiss, they make up & forget about any bad incident, and NEVER bring it up.

4. Play- It is the single most absorbing & involving activity of my daughter. She is immune to her surroundings when she is playing. As adults, we lose touch with our playful side. We do things which have an ROI (retuen on investment) which looks tangible. But playing is theraputic & such a stress buster.

5. Life is TODAY- Not when all task of your to do list are done.

If you want a lesson in living in the moment, watch a kid on a swing, with her legs in the air, her face towards the sky and wind in her hair. Watch a kid get dirty in a sand pit, sitting cross legged, with muddy hands, with dirt on her clothes & hair and enjoying the feel of something icky on her fingers. They have no care about tomorrow. Or clean clothes. Or if your maid is coming tomorrow. Or if the last date for your credit card bill is approaching. They worry WHEN they have to. Not all the time.

 6. Cry when it hurts- Its good to me human.

A child will cry when hurt & ask for a hug and soothing words. That’s all it takes ummm 80% of times. Isn’t that true for us. Most of our issues, are more people/pre-judice/ego based & not incident based, and all it takes is a kind word, some give & take and we’re good to go. And a hug doesn’t hurt anyways.

7. Ofcourse I can do it Mommma, I’m a big girl- There is nothing unachievable.

Have you ever heard a child say, I can’t do it, it looks tough? Nope. They don’t know their potential & are ever eager to test it. How can they be so full of confidence when they can’t speak two coherent sentences without getting distracted, and we, with all experience & wordly wisdom, doubt ourself so often? But worldly wisdom is what stops us in our tracks. We’ve expereinced or heard or seen so many failures that we doubt more than believe in ourselves. But I wish we learn to believe like a child.

 8. Patience- Rome wasn’t bulit in a day, and neither was a child.

I can give lots of gyan on how a tree grows from a seed…and blah blah…but the truth is things will take their own time. This is the single most difficult lesson I have learnt, or rather am still learning. We took 12 months to start walking & another 12 to start eating on our own. Don’t expect it to be different when you are at the receiving end.

 9. When at the end of your rope, change your world-view

Whenever I lose patience with my kids, it’s not their fault, we’ll at least 90% of times. They ARE expected to drop water, or eat slow, or be obstinate, or want to sleep more, and a long list of things appropriate for their age. I am unable to see things their way & this causes problems for me. If we adjust our viewpoint from people to people & situation to situation, things will turn out differently. Its all about taking a pause in your normal race & re-adjust your vantage point. And lo and behold, things start looking better.

 10. Timelessness- I have all the time in the world

Kids are not governed by watches & time. They give their all to what they are doing, and at their own pace. They are NEVER hurried & rushed. Shouldn’t we be doing the same. Yes, we should be punctual & its good to be scheduled, but there is no need to rush all the time.