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I choose to be a bear

photo credit: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/vidyo/7883162898/">RayMorris1</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: RayMorris1 via photopin cc

This life I am a woman, next life I definitely choose to be a bear….

In this life I am a woman. In my next life I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for 6 months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake up partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate expects you to wake up growling. He expects you to will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup….gonna be a bear.

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Who do you love more; me or dad?

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/97335141@N00/3287638545/">MissMessie</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: MissMessie via photopin cc

Everyone lets you believe that sons gravitate towards their mothers, while daughters love their fathers more. Although as a parent you treat both your children equally, love them equally, a small, selfish part of you always strives to secretly be more loved than the father 😉 . Tell me I’m not wrong.

In this vein, after unexpectedly spending a longish weekend with my children (which my school-going daughter thoroughly enjoyed as her mommy had holidays too like her) I felt I had earned the right to be more loved than my busy husband. I was thrilled to find my daughter insisting 2 mornings in a row that mommy should bathe her & feed her, which was new as daddy was her all-time favourite. So the smug me went on indulging her, and at the end of the day asked her diplomatically, why was she choosing me over daddy. So sure was I of a favourable answer that I chose to ask this is the presence of my husband.

‘I want you to do everything for me mom because your t-shirt is same colour as mins. Matching- matching’. Simple.

That’s when I realised that children don’t take sides, don’t hold anything against you. They live in the moment, in today, in right now, and are so happy in their world.

And don’t choose favourites either!

P.S. I think I’ll try again in a few years with my son when he’s old enough to answer.

 

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Lessons from a pigeon family

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/salman2000/13043823055/">Salmando</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: Salmando via photopin cc

As luck would have it, there is a pigeon couple who was visiting the sill outside my bathroom window for the past week. They would be found there very regularly talking to themselves animatedly.

I have been told that once these birds get familiar with a place, they tend to make it their home. Since I have two toddlers at home, I am very wary of infections & was trying to keep these birds away.

One morning, however, I saw the bird carry a twig in her beak, which she dropped on the window sill. A little later, the other bird came carrying another twig. That’s when I realised, they are in the process of building a nest & eventually start a family! The mother in me just didn’t have the heart to throw away their nascent efforts of building a nest so I let them be.

Unexpectedly, this started a fun journey for my daughter & me. She is very fond of animals & theoretically we try to educate her as much as we can, but this development provided us an opportunity to show her how the process actually takes place. I would ask her to tip toe to the bathroom when the birds would arrive with the twigs. I introduced her to the couple & she promptly named them mamma & papa pigeon. Together we started watching how the nest was taking shape.

In the night, my otherwise difficult to subdue daughter, would consciously be quite when she would brush her teeth, as the mamma pigeon was resting. We all eagerly waited for her to lay an egg. And lo & behold, this Sunday, we were greeted in the morning with a shiny egg 🙂  . No one was happier than my daughter, who was telling her brother over & over again, that a small little birdie would come out of the egg!

But in all this process, what I was touched by most was the way the couple worked together. Right from scouting for a conducive place to build a nest, to picking of twigs, the male was always shouldering equal responsibility, in fact when the she-pigeon was resting on the nest to lay the egg, the male was found right next to her, throughout the night.

We as humans, the most advanced species, make such a big deal about how responsibility is to be shared between a couple, while here there were two birds, working in such harmony & love, that amazed me.

Now that the mother is incubating the egg, she is found 24×7 on the same spot, protecting her egg, while I have to answer my inquisitive daughter, where the papa pigeon is, when does the mamma pigeon drink any water, why don’t I feed the mamma….and so on. My daughter & I are eagerly waiting for the D-day when the egg would hatch 🙂 and the place I filled with chirping!

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Birth order & personality

 

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/8_8/243089839/">hira3</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a>

photo credit: hira3 via photopin cc

Studies have shown that most leaders were rarely a first born child. Surprised 🙂 ? Can the order of birth, which means whether you are a first born, or a second born etc., can have a bearing on your personality.

Now that I have two kids, I can relate to this much more.

The first child receives the best of the parents & the world they offer to her. More time, more energy, material things, attention- all are showered on the first child naturally as a right. He never has to ask for anything. All is provided before.

The second child has to fight for his stand, & make way for himself. It starts with something as basic as toys, to the time & energy of his parents which is now divided. He also has to manage with parents also are lesser sensitive since they have learnt from their first experience. He is offered more space to learn, his tantrums are tackled differently, his habits are laid out better, he is dealt with more discipline; all because he is the second child.

What all this subtly results in is a stronger personality for the second child. He learns to make the most of what he receives, learns to stand up for himself, voice his feelings. He also gains confidence as he learns & equips himself since the parents are not the over eager & anxious lot they were as first time parents 🙂 . Aren’t all these traits that make a leader ;-D ?

This no way to say that the second child is less loved, since I feel it’s humanly impossible for a parent to differentiate between their kids. It’s just that because as parents we also grow in experience, we pass it on to our kids as we learn on the way. The second child therefore, gets the best of our learnings.

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Little time saving tricks

With managing toddlers, every 10 mins saved count. Here are my tips & tricks that I have learnt in my last 4 years of mommyhood.

  1. Travelling- Every time you return home, re-stock the diaper bag with everything you have used in this travel. Wet wipes, diapers, wash cloth, anything at all. Chances are when you are going out next, you would be glad you have saved 10 mins in not having to pack the diaper bag afresh. Buy smaller packs of biscuits/ juices/ chips/ cremes/ wipes etc. This way you can discard when free & don’t have to refill after every travel.
  2. Change/ diaper caddy- Children have accidents (throw up milk while crying or coughing up, bed wetting, drop water/ milk on themselves) which requires a change of clothes. Searching for a fresh set, in the middle of the night when you are groggy & bone tired, can be a task. What I have practised with both my kids is to make a small overnight wicker basket for night which has a diaper, wet wipes, 1 set of clothes & under clothes which I take to the bedroom each night. If I end up using anything from it, I just replenish it for the next day. This also gives an opportunity for my husband to change the kids in the night if need be. And isn’t that awesome 😉
  3. Organise things- Have a small basket for all toiletries which you carry to the place/room where the kids get ready from a bath. This means I take out all required things – talc/ mosturiser, comb & hair brush/ diaper rash cream, hair oil- (all the works) in one go & return them at one go, when I am done.
  4. Sorting- You may be surprised like me  since I learnt this by chance, when I saw my 2 yr. old daughter practise this. Girls are naturally attracted towards sorting, and you can keep a kid busy sorting same colour crayons, blocks, beads, (the smaller the better as they take more time picking it up 😉 but only if the child can play with it safely without putting it in her mouth). This activity can easily buy you 10 minutes before your child gets bored or figures out your trick 😀