I know a lot of busy couples for whom the decision of not having a second child is a no-brainer. They just don’t want to revisit the cycle again.
But for me the 2nd pregnancy was a breeze, and I am not alone in this experience. Almost all parents say that their second time was easier for so many reasons.
Because we already knew what to expect, right from the doctor’s visits to medical exams to reports…. we were aware.
Psychologically we were in a better place. We had experienced the joys & fears of being completely responsible for a new life, who would become the centre of our being forever.
We were prepared for the adjustments our lifestyle would require- less alone time, lesser late nights (well, I mean the fun & entertainment, not nightly nappy change and feeds- one really doesn’t get that lucky), and more of family time.
We were relaxed– We were not afraid to fail. We weren’t judging ourselves so critically. And we had more realistic benchmarks for ourselves & from the baby, and this took a lot of pressure off us.
We were wiser– If you are remotely like me who wants to learn from my own experience that hearsay and the kgs of advice everyone is just wanting to give, you’d know this one. We didn’t buy & stock everything the books and parenting sites and every well wisher told us, because we knew what works and what don’t for our kids and our lifestyle.
We believed– We started having more faith is goodness and god. Because we realised, from experience, that there would be loads we would not be able to control, despite our best efforts. So, we became believers. That all good shall happen.
And who do we thank for training us for this 2nd round- our first born. Who taught us all short cuts for feeding a baby, tricks to distract a crying baby, tips to make travel fun, deep-breathing between two tantrums, how to keep awake at 2 am by watching TV….. Yes, my teacher is not my mom or best friends, or my sisters or my mother in law… no one, as much as my daughter in her 2 yrs before we started our second pregnancy. She was and always will remain my biggest teacher of life, not just as a mother.
She is shaping who I will be know as an adult.